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LJ Idol IX - 2. The Missing Stair

Missing stair is a slang term for an abuser or harasser tolerated in a community, even though they are as obvious and well known a fault in that community as a missing step is in a staircase.

[Trigger Warning]Part II is gory.

Life is so much simpler when you are a kid. There are absolute truths, and actions to take, and persons to be in crucial times of the world.

Life is no longer simple when you grow up. Everyone has their own truth, paths diverge, and you are aware of the price to pay to be that person in situations both mundane and universally important.


You are a kid and you read the victor's truth of a revolution and the civil war that followed, and the great men and women that died in that war defending the Truth, for a better future for all. Those who were not indifferent, who suffered and sacrificed and immortalized their ideals.

You grow up and suddenly, there are stories from both sides of the barricades, and suddenly, there is no universal Truth or universal Evil, but good men who fought what what they thought right and best for all, and evil men who warped the goals of both sides, and ordinary men who lived their lives, worked, rose their families, and were not not interested in politics, and were caught between the rock and the hard place when the whole belief system suddenly tilted on its axis, and suddenly, they are living a life that is already obsolete and don't know it.

And the wheel of time turns, and the times you live in turn "interesting", and a revolutionary situation is upon you, and you are but an ordinary person who wants stability.

~Pussy. Indifferent. Ballast. Coward.~


You are a child whose grandparents fought in a great war, and you culture is full of stories of bravery, self-sacrifice and the tremendous effort it took to overthrow the enemy that threatened the world. And you will grow up to be the hero who did not run, who fought against staggering odds, who is buried in that Unknown Soldier's Tomb with its eternal flame. Or you are another kind of hero, one who worked endless days and nights on the factories making Victory possible.

You grow up, and all you have ever seen are non-violent deaths, and you have never wanted for minimal food and clothing. And suddenly in a war that may be you are one of the thousands dead civilians, you are a massacred PoW, or it is your daughter that was raped and murdered, and your little kid grew so used to violence after a winter in a bombed-out city he uses an frozen enemy corpse with chopped-off legs as sleigh. And you fear.

~Coward. Traitor. Unpatriotic. Weakling.~


You are a child and you are taught to love your country, and to revere the kindly leaders that stood at its beginnings. You are taught to be proud of being the heir to their continued efforts, and to study hard to be able to work for the bettering of your land.

You are an adolescent, and at the drop of a political hat that country is no more, and you leave in another, one that vilifies and denounces that which once was right, and strives towards that which once was only tolerated or wrong, where the kindly forefathers are tyrants swimming in innocent blood. And you live on, silent and lost.

~Stranger. Loose canon. Misplaced.~

Who are you?


( 31 comments — Leave a comment )
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Mar. 23rd, 2014 08:05 pm (UTC)
ConCrit is welcome.

I am playing with formatting. So if the explanation of the topic in the first paragraph ("small" font) is unreadable in the design of your LJ, please tell me.
Mar. 23rd, 2014 09:22 pm (UTC)
Ugh, this is so true. Life really is simpler when you're a kid.
Mar. 23rd, 2014 10:59 pm (UTC)
I enjoyed your explorations of the loss of innocence here.
Mar. 23rd, 2014 11:01 pm (UTC)
Thank you. It is difficult :)
Mar. 24th, 2014 05:01 am (UTC)
I didn't know that definition, but it's an interesting one. As is the entry and how it takes up inadequacies of modern life.
Mar. 24th, 2014 08:38 am (UTC)
I did not expect these words to have one like that either when I googled them.

Thank you.
Mar. 24th, 2014 07:49 am (UTC)
("You are and adolescent" - an adolescent?)
Mar. 24th, 2014 08:20 am (UTC)
Yes, thank you :)
Mar. 25th, 2014 12:17 am (UTC)
I like the format. The words are chilling and struck so true. Well done.
Mar. 25th, 2014 10:34 am (UTC)
Thank you. This is personal for me.
Mar. 25th, 2014 01:15 am (UTC)
I liked the contrast of what we learn vs. what we decide.
Mar. 25th, 2014 10:56 am (UTC)
Thank you.
Mar. 25th, 2014 10:02 pm (UTC)
So very true.
Mar. 26th, 2014 01:15 am (UTC)
Mar. 27th, 2014 11:10 am (UTC)
Thank you for taking the time to comment :)
Mar. 27th, 2014 04:30 am (UTC)
It's hard to move from the simple to the complex.
Mar. 27th, 2014 01:39 pm (UTC)
Yes, it always is.
Mar. 27th, 2014 06:02 am (UTC)
There is a lot of unsettling truth here. As you get older, you see how much of the world is shades of gray-- including because each side paints itself as white and the other black, and the gray overlap of the two is somewhere closer to the reality.

Very interesting piece.
Mar. 27th, 2014 02:19 pm (UTC)
Thank you.

Mar. 27th, 2014 07:27 am (UTC)
In the United States, I feel our political divide is being hardened by those who have yet to understand the lack of black and white in the real world. And they refuse to accept compromise, or even believe that those they idolize can ever be wrong.

Thomas Jefferson is the perfect example--one of the greatest minds in history whose ideas and words have created the land we live in today; he owned human beings and was directly and/or indirectly responsible for their torture and death, and it is a fact that he raped at least one of them. Was he a good man or an evil man? A man slightly ahead of his dark, mostly unenlightened time or a selfish rich man? Should we praise him for the country he founded or hate and disown him?

Thinking either/or for something like this damages us as a country and as human beings. Life isn't Star Wars.

So, damn, this is a good essay.
Mar. 27th, 2014 02:31 pm (UTC)
We also see an upsurge of black-and-white these days. The moods that are called "hooray"-patriotic in Russia and astounding nationalism in Ukraine.

It is very unsettling.

And thank you.
Mar. 27th, 2014 11:39 am (UTC)
Life is simpler when you don't have to constantly put things in perspective... Loved the essay.
Mar. 27th, 2014 01:49 pm (UTC)
Thank you.
Mar. 27th, 2014 01:47 pm (UTC)
Agree so much with "Life is no longer simple when you grow up"...a good read!! and maybe the answer to who are you? is within or nowhere at all!
Mar. 27th, 2014 02:00 pm (UTC)
I hope I will find it one day :-)

Thank you.
Mar. 27th, 2014 03:03 pm (UTC)
This is a very interesting piece. I like the way you have constructed it.
Mar. 27th, 2014 03:04 pm (UTC)
Thank you :)
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