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LJ Idol X - 12: salty

Good old days
There were three old wise men in Gotham
But the evil one finally caught 'em.
In a bowl one night
They sailed out of sight
And the storm that came in
Capsized their small tin
Drowning fast the landlubbering lot of 'em.

Our days
Of the wise men of Gotham
Not all three the sea got then.
His leaky bowl was stronger
And hence the tale grows longer.

Black silhouette of a man in a cone hat sitting in a bowl, or small boat, against a blueish background and vague pebblish foreground.

This entry was inspired by the Three Wise Men of Gotham nursery rhyme:

Three wise men of Gotham
Went to sea in a bowl.
If the bowl had been stronger
My tale had been longer.

and the bit of paint that fell off the wall in our apartment building leaving behind the fanciful image I have photographed. (The background is the wall and the foreground is the floor.)


( 18 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 17th, 2017 11:21 pm (UTC)
ConCrit is welcome.
Mar. 18th, 2017 03:51 pm (UTC)
It's good to see you branching out into poetry -- I don't recall reading any from you, but this is only my second full season and I have a horrible memory. I enjoyed your take on the nursery rhyme. I love the idea that you were partly inspired by paint flaking from a wall. What a great source!
Mar. 18th, 2017 05:07 pm (UTC)
Thank you.

I only write it rarely (once before this season, but of course everyone's entries kinda blur together :-) ).

That paint thing was funny, I saw it and thoughtat once of continuing the rhyme, and only afterward realized that it fit the topic :-)
Mar. 20th, 2017 03:00 am (UTC)
I love the take on the rhyme. :D
Mar. 20th, 2017 08:49 am (UTC)
Thank you!
Mar. 22nd, 2017 07:42 pm (UTC)
This is like "found inspiration" in a way, like "found art."

It's interesting that the resulting image from that paint peeling went right to that nursery rhyme, and gave you this idea. I didn't readily see that image in peeled pain above, but I'm also not that familiar with that nursery rhyme! You had a whole additional context that I lacked, and why not expand that tale toward a little more hopeful direction?
Mar. 22nd, 2017 09:18 pm (UTC)
I had a suspicion that the rhyme was more widely known to us in Russian, than its original to the English speakers because the translator, Samuil Marshal, made it rhyme better and therefore, more memorable. Which is why I cited the entire rhyme in the comment, not just its title :-)

Thank you!
Mar. 23rd, 2017 12:17 am (UTC)
I like your venture into poetry. This was very cute.
Mar. 29th, 2017 01:37 pm (UTC)
Thank you :)
Mar. 23rd, 2017 05:15 pm (UTC)
A rollicking rhyme! I liked this.
Mar. 29th, 2017 01:39 pm (UTC)
Thank you!

I initially aimed at a lymeric but couldn't fit all I wanted to say into one :-)

Oooh, I recognize the fairy tale in you icon, but I do not remember what it is called right now. It has inspired some of my past Idol entries, too!
Mar. 29th, 2017 10:57 pm (UTC)
Vasalisa the Beautiful and Baba Yaga!
Mar. 23rd, 2017 09:52 pm (UTC)
I really like the fact that what kicks this off is paint falling off the wall. That's excellent ground for a couple of poems.
Mar. 29th, 2017 01:45 pm (UTC)
I was amazed myself how my mind used it as a starting point. Thank you!
Mar. 24th, 2017 12:19 am (UTC)
I never heard that rhyme!

Love what you did with it anyway!
Mar. 29th, 2017 01:41 pm (UTC)
I did fear that it was not very well known, and you are the second person to confirm it, but I am happy you liked my re-writing of it :)
Mar. 24th, 2017 01:56 am (UTC)
Fascinating where inspiration strikes us! It does look like a boat.
Mar. 29th, 2017 01:46 pm (UTC)
It is!

Thank you :)
( 18 comments — Leave a comment )

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